Welcome to 2022! Is it possible to hope for a better year?? Or is that just wishful thinking at this point?

I'm happy for a new year and a new planner to try to make my life a little less chaotic. Keep my street teams straight (I'm on 4 at the moment, I love it so much!!!), keep my family schedule straight, and try to plan life out as much as possible hahaha I use the Happy Planner and have for many years, I truly enjoy how easy it is to write things in the day to day and how pretty the designs are! 

This month I have a small goal to read more indie books than traditionally published ones. I've done pretty well and I still have a LOT of ARCs to finish to make sure I keep a good standing with NetGalley, and I have enjoyed my membership immensely and I'm grateful for the opportunity to read more amazing books!

I don't have many goals for the year. I am very hesitant to make goals because I am very hard on myself if I don't accomplish them, so I try to just kinda generally throw ideas out to the universe instead of full blown goals. Just being in survival mode for the past few years has kinda made it hard to look too far into the future just in case, ya know, life happens hahaha

The past couple years I've used my books to help me escape and while I will still use them for such, I'm looking forward to having some other grounding methods and coping mechanisms. 

These bookcases, other than our office redo, were the best purchase of last year for sure! I've enjoyed decorating them and filing them with so many amazing stories. I've met so many amazing people through the social media circles of the book community and for that I am so grateful, especially so many indie authors and those friendships are so precious to me.

This year will be better than the previous ones. One thing I decided for myself for this year however was to finally put my mental health at the forefront and to help myself. With that in mind, I have my first therapy session scheduled and I am so excited and terrified at the same time. I've wanted this for so long that I'm worried it won't work or help me, but I know eventually it will. If I'm open enough and willing to work hard this will absolutely help me handle my anxiety and hopefully my depression too. Happy New Year everyone!

Ya know I think 2020 may have tried a little too hard to continue its rein of terror dontcha think?? Good grief what a start to the new year! I'm really hoping for smoother waters as the year progresses.

 This year we have a few goals as a family, a few house projects we want to get done, and some personal goals of course. I've said it before but it bears repeating that I don't like resolutions. I don't like the pressure that comes with that term to make lofty goals that you may or may not (most likely won't) achieve. Kinda buzzkills the whole thing for me. BUT I am a firm believer in knowing your own limits and setting the goals you know you can manage. 

For me, this is going to be a year of figuring out my space in the universe. Rediscovery if you will. I know I want to remember who I was before I got married and became a mother. Those two things are very very important and I would never change them or trade them away BUT I feel like I may have forgotten that I was an individual before all of that. I want to rediscover my passions and joys. I want to find my middle ground.

Finding a middle ground is the hardest part of growing. I feel pulled in a few directions but know in my heart that there's not necessarily always a perfectly right answer. I've had to dismantle a lot of biases and traditions and cultural demands to really get to where I want to be. To find where my soul is truly at peace within myself. I've had to learn that what seemed so black and white when I was younger is so much more complicated and grey than I thought. That I have grown up and have found my own opinions and have had to remold myself to be who I really am. I have a lot more to still do but I'm proud of the progress I've made thus far thanks to friends and some amazing therapists that have made resources available through social media to help us see things more clearly. (Dr Julie Hanks, Hey Tiffany Roe, and CelesteDavis are a few that have helped me immensely)

I want to grow my little side business more. I thoroughly enjoy making shirts and all of the goodness that comes from meeting new people and seeing their happy faces with my products. I want to build a community of friends this year. I have a hard time making friends more often than not to be honest. I am a painfully shy person until I get to know you better and then there's no holding back hahahaha 

I want to read more. I also want to read more diverse books and diverse authors. I've made pretty decent headway from nothing but still want more and I love learning different things from the different authors and their stories. My goal is to read 50 books this year and so far I've read 10! Almost 11 but the last one was just boring as heck so I stopped hahaha I plan on doing Book Round Ups when I remember to on here but if you ever want to know what I'm reading, I update my Instagram often and my Goodreads/StoryGraph accounts so you can follow along too!

So for now, here's where my 2021 begins (January was a trial run hahaha) and I hope you all will join me for a year of fun and rediscovery!

30 years of life have happened for me. I initially thought I'd do one of those "30 in 30" things but I decided to just put out some musings I've had instead.

I am not super woman.

There. I said it! I am incapable of doing all of the things I'm "supposed to do"!
 
And that's ok!
 
It's ok to not do all of the things. For example: this October we didn't do a pumpkin patch, carve pumpkins,  or anything super fall related other than Trick or Treat. And my kids are still ok. So my mom guilt can take a backseat for that thank goodness.

 I have to listen to my intuition/gut more often than my guilt or what others say. I don't know if any of you have this happen to you, but I've learned to mostly be able to say "No" or "I can't right now". We're heading into the crazy busy season and I've already had to say that a couple times to keep my sanity.  Or if there's a situation that doesn't feel right, I have to listen to that feeling and follow through.
 
It's ok to put yourself first sometimes. As a wife and mother I am constantly giving and giving and sometimes I literally have nothing left.

For me, one of the ways I put myself first is getting my hair done. I only get it done maybe twice a year but I feel so good afterwards. I feel so incandescently happy!  See this Instagram post for more of that musing!
 
It's ok to feel emotions.
Feeling sad is ok.
Feeling happy is ok.
Feeling angry is ok.
Feeling exhausted is ok.
You have to give yourself permission to feel your feelings or you can not heal. More often than not we're told to "pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get on with it" and that's good advice for the most part! But for some of us, hearing that just makes the guilt worse. I agree that we have to move on BUT everyone has their own pace and we have to find ours and do what's best for ourselves and our families.
 
It's never too late to start your dream!
It took me far too long to finally just start doing what I wanted to do: Open my own t-shirt and vinyl business! I've always wanted to make shirts at an affordable rate for ALL sizes and design my own stuff and it has been such a fun blessing for me!

It has helped my mental health in so many ways to create custom things for people! It's stretched my imagination and skills set. I've learned new things and can't wait to see  what next year has in store for the shop!

Life is good! Even when it sucks, which we all know it does on occasion, it is good!

I have my gorgeous girls, my amazing and supportive husband, my little business, a home, a working car, etc etc. How can I not see the good even dealing with the gross??

30 years old. I remember thinking 30 was so old and wise and you'd have it all figured out by now. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh how I was wrong, but also how much better it is than I thought! As I say goodbye to my 20s and welcome the next decade I'm excited to watch certain parts of my life end and new ones start. So here's to turning 30 and what a fun decade it will be!

I swear 2017 just flew by! SO here's our year in review! (I love doing these so I can see how far we've come in a year!)
 
January

The girls got their new-to-them bunkbeds and they have LOVED sleeping in them ever since! I talked more in depth about my PPD/PPA and how it's changed/developed in the last 2 years.
 
February

I tried to get a handle on our house and the clutter which helped my mental health so much! And we made our master bedroom a little more homey. I still need to fill those empty spots haha

March

I was given a Canon T3i from my brother and so I just started taking pictures of everything hahaha My Canon Rebel had died and I was in mourning and he took pity on me especially since he never used the camera anyways hahaha I also became a Dating Divas affiliate
 
April

This was a big month for us since Aunt Haley got married!! It was a fun and crazy day with quite a good story to go with it. We love Jason and the girls have taken to him. We also got some family pictures taken before the wedding so that I had some of the girls in their adorable dresses we bought for the wedding. Rory had a farm field trip for preschool and Jade got to join too! Yes that's Jade milking a cow hahaha she loved it!
 
 May

Alyx came to visit and she "forced me" into doing a boudoir session with her while she was here
and it was incredible and a HUGE self esteem booster for me! I attended my first LDS Blogger event which was amazing and funI enjoyed a nice simple Mother's Day and Rory finished her first (and only) year of preschool. I shed many tears realizing she would be off to kindergarten soon
but I had to wait an entire 2 months until then hahaha
 
June

Andrew and Rory each celebrated a birthday, Andrew (28) and Rory (5) and we went to Costco for Andrew's and then took Rory school supply shopping for hers. I took a leap and dyed my hair teal. This was something I have always wanted to do but it took some serious self-esteem boosting to actually DO IT. It also helps when your best friend is a complete enabler  and has a wonderful husband that flies you out for a girls weekend! Thankfully Alyx was willing to destroy an extra shirt for the teal hair cause! Plus who doesn't love freezing in Pacifica CA when it's over 100* back in AZ?! 
 
July

We took a trip to South Carolina to visit Andrew's uncle (whom we affectionately call "Unkie") and aunt and the girls had a blast! We went over 4th of July so we did a HUGE display of fireworks in their front yard and thanks to their quick thinking of ear protection the girls weren't freaked out by it. And the biggest thing that happened was Rory starting school!! This has been a game changer for us because Rory and I enjoy our time together but we flourish with time apart. Plus she loves school and her teacher and she's just blossoming.
 
August

We threw my mom an epic Harry Potter Birthday Party for her 50th! I found the most amazing salon in Queen Creek where I was able to get my hair to be the shade I was dreaming of! Jade turned 3 and we took her to Build a Bear and had her binki put inside the unicorn she picked! It was a rough transition for about 2 nights and then she was over it thank goodness.
 
September

We took our big family Disneyland trip! It was such a fun time and we loved it all! We especially loved seeing the Bowlers cuz it had been years since Andrew and I had seen my aunt and uncle and 2 of their kids. (They had 2 more kids since the last time we saw them hahaha) I also discovered this amazing store in Gilbert called Rod Works and I fell in love with that clock and the measuring conversions chart and HAD to buy them for my kitchen gallery wall! I mean they fit perfectly don't they?!
 
October

October was FULL! Alyx came to visit again and this time, she brought the whole family! We realized that she and I have travelled to visit each other BUT our families had never actually met in person! So the guys had a blast with the kiddos while Alyx and I handled some photography sessions (I was assisting, NOT taking!!). We had a fantastic time playing with all the kids and  we can't wait til we can do another fun trip altogether! I talked about the positive part of social media and the amazing friends I have found. I celebrated my 29th birthday (Golden Birthday even!) and we hosted Halloween again and the women folk stayed to hand out candy while the amazing, wonderful, dedicated, lovely fathers took the children around the neighborhood!
 
November

I'm one of those that puts up Christmas as soon as Halloween is over. It's just who I am. The girls love it though and the magic of the whole season starts. My mom and I were able to go to Time Out for Women in Phoenix. I was part of the volunteer staff at the event  and it's an experience I'm not likely to forget. I put a video up here for you that describes my experience  as I told it on Instagram Stories (which, if you don't already follow me you really should hahaha  more things happen on IG than here on the blog!) It was a very spiritual and fun thing to do and I hope I can do it again this coming year! Rory had her Primary program right before Thanksgiving, and we had Pie Night (which is a Wilson family tradition the Saturday before Thanksgiving, to have as much pie as you want so you don't feel jipped on actual Thanksgiving when you're too full from the other awesome food). Andrew and I were able to go do sealings at the Mesa Temple after Thanksgiving  AND I had my first paid photography sessions, WHAT! I made Andrew pose for me a bit so I could get my settings right, he's so handsome! 
 
December