I normally don't get into controversial stuff on the blog but this has been pressing on my mind for a bit here, so I'm gonna just write it and hope for the best.

Most of you know that I'm LDS (or Mormon) and if you didn't now you do hahahaha I was born into the church and have lived with it my whole life. It's a big part of who I am and who I hope to become as I grow and learn.

With the presidential election, "Mormonism" has been put under a microscope and discussed and often criticized. I get that people just want to understand about what we believe, so let me tell you.

Ok I'm sorry to take a break from the giveaways, but this has been on my mind for about 2 days and I need to at least type it out here so I get it out ;)

For the past two weeks I had planned to attend an event that Elise and Nichelle had put together for us AZ bloggers ;) I was so excited to finally meet these amazing girls I know through the blog-o-sphere. I had a sitter, I had plans to wear a cute outfit, do my hair, SHAVE MY LEGS, oh yeah the whole caboodle.

Everything was set up, I was pumped, and things were going great all day. Then my sitter had to cancel, but I was ok with that "I'll just take her with me - no big deal. Plus then all the girls can meet my adorable daughter!" I was determined to make it a great night. Then I get a call from my grandma telling me that Rory was having a really rough time over there (I had forgotten to pack her medicine too - that was a "my bad") so I said I'd come over as soon as I finished getting dressed  and fixing my hair real quick. I rushed over to their house to give her her medicine, and as soon as I walked in, I knew I wouldn't be going to the blog party.

She was sleeping on my grandpa, but her breathing was wheezy and she was very hot to the touch. The Dr said this would most likely happen because of the 4 shots she had  that morning but she hadn't reacted at all to the first round, so I had assumed she wouldn't this time either. Lesson learned no worries. When she woke up, she woke with a cry, heard my voice, and once I wrapped her in my arms she calmed and snuggled in close.

I instantly started to tear up. At first it was because I was going to miss the party I had planning to attend for 2 weeks. After all, I didn't think that one night not smelling of baby, wearing a cute outfit without drool or spit up, and hair done was too much to ask. But then I chastised myself. My daughter is WAY more important than me having a night out. I felt so badly for my initial reaction, that the tears spilled out of my eyes as I held my baby close and comforted her as she whimpered about her pain. She has another tooth coming in next to the first one, plus the shots. She was not a happy baby.

As I drove home with my sleeping babe in the back, the tears spilled out again. Because I really did want to go out for a party, and meet people and make blog life friends real life friends. And again, the guilt came back. When I got Rory home, I rocked and hummed her to sleep and she fell asleep right away. I thought to myself "This is a moment I will cherish forever." My sick baby held close to me, soothed instantly by the sound of my not-so-great singing voice, and falling asleep with a little sigh was one of the brightest star points so far of her life with us ;)

So as sad as I was to miss out on the party, and I really was, I was happy that I was able to show my daughter how important she is to me and to help her feel better with my mommy magic.

Today is my GG's funeral. I know it will be an emotionally draining day but I'm also happy that we get to gather as family and friends to celebrate her wonderful life with us ;) I miss her but again, I'm SOO happy she's with her loved ones that have passed on before her. I'm so grateful to my Grandpa Frank for loving her these past 15 years and taking care of her so well.

I'm beyond grateful for the gospel in my life. It always saddens me when I hear people say they'll never see their loved ones again. That WOULD be sad wouldn't it? I'm so happy that because of this gospel and the blessings of the temple, I'm forever sealed to my GG - hahaha she can't ever get rid of me! ;)

I LOVE this one of her and Grandpa Smith I never got to meet him in this life (he died when my mom was 7) but you can see how much he loved her in this picture ;)

See that cute little boy?! That's my grandpa! Such a cutie patootie!

Why yes, that is my mom holding a small child ;) Hahahaha Stephanie I think??

This describes her so well hahaha she always liked to have fun and show us how much she loved us.

I can't wait til I get to see her on the other side of the veil and hug her and know we'll never have to part again ;)

Love you GG!

This morning my GG passed into immortality in her sleep and finally without pain.

I'm sad because she won't be here anymore - at family parties and such BUT I'm so happy she's not in pain anymore and she's also reunited with Grandpa after about 30 years of separation.

My heart is full of love and gratitude for her second husband, my Grandpa Frank who is and always will be family and I hope he knows how much we all love him.

I'm so glad that Rory was able to at least meet GG and love on her at least a little bit before she went home. And that my brother was able to see her too.

I love my GG and I will miss her, but I know I'll see her again in the next life. I'm so grateful for this gospel and that it helps us have eternal families. She will always be my GG - even in the eternities and that's comforting to know.

Love you GG.

SO we blessed Rory in church on the 16th of September and Perla was super amazing enough to take pictures for us to remember the day ;)

For those that don't know, in the Mormon church a baby is blessed by their father (or other father type figure) and it's a special prayer just for the baby ;)

Andrew did an amazing job and yes I cried through the whole thing ;) And my lovely daughter tarted talking into the microphone as soon as they walked up to the front, then she started to fuss, so all the men started "the bounce" and she quieted ;)

- Nick, Papa Smith, Grandpa Mills, Dad, Rory, Grandpa Bowler, Great-Grandpa Frank And Nick missed the "look at the baby" cue hahaha
- See my grandpa's face? That is how he looks every time he sees her ;) And she LOVES him right back ;)
- With the great grandparents from Andrew's side - and she was just really tired of all the pictures I promise!
- See how tired the poor thing was?? She snuggled right into me and fell asleep right after this picture was taken ;)

Ok, can I be selfish for a minute and mention my dress? I LOVE THIS DRESS! I got it from eShakti.com and had it custom sized cuz none of the pre-done sizes fit my post-pardum body hahaha AND IT COMES WITH POCKETS! I loved pockets before I was a mom, now they're basically essential to my wardrobe ;)