As I walked out of Andrew's house with tears streaming down my face, my heart shattered. But as I said before, I also had a sense of immeasurable peace. I hadn't felt my Heavenly Father's love so strong for me before and it truly felt like He was giving me a hug to reassure me, or letting me cry on His shoulder like any loving father would do. That night I slept over at my BFF's house cuz I din't want to be alone and we had our other friends come over for a bit too. We ate ice cream, I cried, it was a great girls night for me to get all emotional about everything and have such great friends to support me ;)
Over the next year, I gotta be honest with you, I wasn't very social.
*Disclaimer again: I have always kinda been a homebody until senior year but then it was just with my small group of friends and by this time 2 of them were married and one engaged, so it was hard to get together anymore*
I actually only had one date during the entire two years Andrew was gone. And that happened at my other friend's wedding.
I really didn't want to go alone,and my buddy (we'll call him J) said he'd come with me as my date so I wouldn't feel so lonely cuz all my girlfriends had dates. I was SOOO beyond glad he did! First it wouldn't have been any fun to be all alone at a table, AND he came to my resuce when I needed a friend. This girl (let's call her B to make things easier) I knew from high school came over to our table to say hey and we were all chatting for a bit. Then the other couples went to get food, leaving me and J to talk with B.
Out of the blue B says "So you were dating Andrew Mills right?"
Me: "Yeah, he's in the MTC right now but he leaves for Argentina on Monday!"
B "So what are you going to do when he either writes you off or comes home and doesn't want you anymore?"
Me: *stunned silence*
J: "Well I come home 9 months later and then I'll snatch her up!" (with a smile)
B then left the table.
I was so grateful he was there just to rescue me from hecklers. Although he did actually mean that statement at the time, which made it nicer too ;)
At his year mark, Andrew sent me a tape that was meant for only me to listen to! We had exchanged tapes throughout the year but always with other people talking on it too, so this was something special. He talked about his companion and all the cool people he'd met and at the very end of the tape he said "I love you". It was really fast, so more like "iloveyou" *click* hahahahaha But it made me so happy! We had made an agreement before he left to not be all "loving", for lack of better word, in our letters to each other so that made the tape extremely precious to me ;)
Stay tuned for part 4!
I thought I should continue our story ;) Here's part one if you missed it!
So he asked me if he could date me, and I said yes but then I thought "how am I gonna tell my girlfriends about this!?" So we each took one to tell. They took it really well considering that it all happened so fast and they did have interest in him too.
After all that, I had to get used to having a boyfriend again. I'll admit, I had major issues at first. *Remember ex-boyfriend broke me* I was super insecure, like awkward-borderline-over-defensive insecure. Poor Andrew. He would be such a gentleman and I was a horrible lady. I would open my own doors, kinda refuse any help whatsoever. I was ridiculous, yet Andrew was patient with me and just kept telling me that I was worth everything he was doing for me. It took a good 3-6 months for me to finally open completely up.
When we got to 6 months of dating, I started to realize that I couldn't be without him. And that fact made me nervous seeing as he hadn't gone on his mission yet. That Christmas he gave me Swarovski crystal blue forget-me-nots because I said that his eyes were that color and he wanted me to have something that would remind me of him ;) I know, disgustingly cute right? ;) And that's when we started discussing our future together.
We decided that we were meant to be, neither of us had felt like this with anyone else, and this just felt so right how can we ignore it? But there was one pretty big thing we would have to overcome: his mission.
Now I want to make something clear here: Andrew was going to go on a mission, that was non-negotiable and I told him flat out that if he didn't go on his mission, I wouldn't marry him. Cuz if he couldn't commit 2 years to the Lord, how could he commit to an eternity with me? ;) Yeah I know, one of my more shining moments I won't lie hahahaha So as we got closer to him leaving, we took every moment we could to just enjoy our love and keep the pressure off ;)
One of our friends got married about 2 weeks before Andrew left (actually it was one of the other girls that was in the triangle hahaha) and I was a bridesmaid and Andrew and I really had fun. It was also one of those days where we knew what each other was thinking without needing to say it "will we make it to this point?"
See? Those are two of my favorite pictures of us and both are from that wedding (you're welcome Noelle! ;) ) As we were sitting at their reception, we looked at each other and an understanding came to both of us without words. We loved each other, and marriage was what we wanted.
At Andrew's farewell, I loved listening to him talk and hearing how proud he was that he was the first in his family to go on a mission (the men in his family went into the Navy) and my family all came too cuz they knew how much he meant to me ;)
We look so young! Hahahaha He gave his farewell talk on his brthday and left on Wednesday for the MTC. On his last day we spent it together and I helped him pack for his mission, yeah I was one of those girlfriends - in denial. That night he was set apart as a missionary and I was there being as supportive as I could be ;) He had come up to me earlier and kissed me real quick and a fast hug but I was the last one he hugged and I waited until I got outside his house to break down in the tears that I had held back for weeks. Yes my heart broke again but it was different. I felt this overwhelming sense of peace along with the sad, I know weird right? It was like Heavenly Father was telling me "Don't worry my daughter, he'll be fine and so will you."
Stay tuned for part 3
Here you will find love, magic, bookworm favorites, Disney tips, and a family on their journey to Happy Ever After!